-Today felt calm, being present — and that was enough.-

Good morning, dear readers.

Today is truly a beautiful day.
As always, my routine started early this morning at 6. Today I felt more inclined to explore myself. I decided to extend my meditation to 10 minutes. They passed very quickly. I was able to calm my mind and enter a state of quiet, where I didn’t try to control my thoughts but simply let them go, letting them flow naturally. I was just observing, without holding onto anything.

For the first time in a long while, I had a dream that I can clearly remember. It feels strange, because I honestly don’t remember the last time this happened. This morning, after waking up and meditating, I was able to write down in my journal everything I could remember. What surprises me the most is that I can still recall many details even now.

The dream took place over a 24-hour time span. I want to tell it to you.

The dream was about sport, specifically running. I was taking part in a 24-hour ultra marathon. There were many competitors, most of them in teams, and I was alone, with my bag prepared with food and everything I needed. My strategy was not to walk at all, but to run very slowly for the entire race, saving everything I had for the last kilometers if needed.

I clearly remember that I teamed up with a guy I met there, and then the race started. We were running in circles, like hamsters, on a 400-meter track. I remember perfectly the moments when I stopped to rest and eat, and what’s strange is that I remember exactly what my main sources of fuel were.

Toward the end of the race, another runner from a team and I were almost tied in terms of kilometers completed in 24 hours. So we both decided to give everything we had left. It was just me, him, and a board showing the kilometers. I don’t remember anyone else around, just the two of us and time passing.

In the end, he won by just a few meters. I finished second. I clearly remember the emotion, the happiness I felt, and also a bit of frustration for coming in second.

Then I woke up. I felt relaxed, just like the past few nights. It was beautiful. I don’t remember ever recalling a dream so clearly, and that makes me happy.

I think this might be due — though I can’t say for sure — to the fact that I’m no longer spending time in front of screens before going to sleep. Instead, I’m resting my eyes by reading books and spending time with myself. Sometimes I feel a bit bored turning off my phone one hour before bed, but then I remember how valuable that time away from social media and scrolling really is, and I dedicate it with intention to one of my hobbies: reading.

I’m also continuing to study the book Flow. Diving deeper into topics related to the mind and human behavior is something I’m really enjoying. I find it fascinating to understand more and dig into what is essentially our main organ. I’m learning many things I didn’t know before, things we often don’t pay attention to. I’m not just reading it — I’m truly studying it, exploring what the psychology of optimal experience really is.

Today I kept my phone off until 8 a.m. I spent some time reading, and then I went out for a run. Today’s workout was 18 km at a 4:30 pace. If before I was scared of holding certain paces for such a long time, and filled my head with doubts about whether I was capable or not, now I’ve learned to empty my mind, put on my shoes, listen to my rhythm, and just go.

No expectations. No fears. Just staying present with what I’m doing and enjoying the process.

Time flew by. I didn’t even realize I had covered so many kilometers. When you stop complaining, stop making predictions, and stop thinking about failure, time moves differently.

Of course, during an 18 km run, some thoughts pass through my mind — that’s normal. But every time I drifted too far, I reminded myself to let those thoughts go and return to the present. I looked around, slowed down internally, and allowed myself to smile at the things that made me feel happy.

I’ve noticed that since I’ve become calmer, since I wander less into the future or the past, I smile more. I’m also trying not to get angry and not to waste my energy on situations that don’t deserve it, choosing instead to channel it toward what truly matters to me.

I’m very happy with how this day started. Even though today I have a work shift from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m., I’ll try to find something positive in it, without complaining about how much time work takes away from me or how boring it feels, knowing it’s not what I want to do in life.

I want to see things for what they are, with objectivity and positivity. I’ll try to stay present even during my work shift, without hiding behind repressed feelings toward the job I’m doing. After all, if I’m still here, it’s no one’s fault but mine and the decisions I’ve made to stay for now. When I’m ready, it will be time to make my choices.

I wish you a good day, dear readers.
See you tomorrow.