-A week ends. I take notes.-

Good afternoon, dear readers.

Today started in the best possible way. The sky was cloudy, but I tried to make the day active anyway. As usual, I woke up at 6 and followed my morning routine. I spent some time studying the book Flow. Today there was no training or running — recovery day.

I’m not someone who usually takes recovery or rest days, because of my hyperactivity and the constant need to always be doing something, without ever stopping. But today I decided it was time. I went to the gym and didn’t train. I just loosened up my legs, did some stretching and mobility work, and nothing more.

Even though I felt like training, I did what was right: I gave myself time to rest and made recovery a priority. I want to perform at my best without getting injured.

I want to confess something. Over the past few months, I’ve never taken a real rest day. Not because I didn’t need it, but because I’ve always had a constant fear of gaining weight and I was constantly overwhelmed by guilt. I often compare myself to others, especially on social media, seeing people train every single day. And to not feel less than them, I end up trying to imitate that behavior.

Since I’ve reduced scrolling and my use of social media, this tendency has faded a bit. But today I still went to the gym, even if it was just to recover. That’s because I still haven’t fully overcome my physical insecurities. I struggle to accept myself as I am and I keep raising the bar, normalizing bodies that are often not real but catch my eye on social media.

I need to learn to accept who I am and appreciate myself for who I am now, not for the result I hope to reach someday. I can’t live in the future, constantly thinking about how I’ll look when I reach my “dream body.” I need to be grateful for who I am now and for what I’m building.

This year, I want to accept myself in every physical form I’ll be in, and most of all, I don’t want to feel guilty if I skip a workout or take a rest day during the week. I truly want to commit to this.

Today is Sunday, and I’ve decided that every weekend I’ll look at the data and reflect honestly on my week — to congratulate myself and also to question what I can improve. I want to start by saying that I’m very grateful for how this week went.

Let’s look at the positives.

Sleep: I averaged 8 hours per night, with an average sleep score of 90 measured by my Garmin. I also consistently respected my 6 a.m. alarm without struggling to get up.

Meditation: I completed a total of 50 minutes. I’ve noticed that I much prefer meditating right after waking up rather than during the day.

Reading: I finished two books and I’m currently reading two more. I’m really proud of this.

Caffeine: I significantly reduced it, drinking only 7 coffees during the week, mainly before training, giving caffeine a clear purpose.

Physically, this morning I weighed 82.25 kg. Compared to last Sunday, I lost 1.4 kg. I prioritized real food and didn’t experience any binge episodes. Yesterday, after running, I also ate a small bowl of homemade granola without thinking about calories or weighing anything. I ate mindfully, without overeating and without guilt.

Training-wise, I completed 12 hours of training, including 80 km of running. And something I’m really proud of: I tried to enjoy the process and stay as present as possible during my sessions — spoiler: I succeeded.

After years, something strange happened. For the second time, I woke up and during meditation I clearly remembered some frames from my dream. That makes two dreams remembered in a row. I honestly don’t remember the last time this happened, and it makes me really happy, especially because I was able to recall them clearly and in detail.

Now, let’s talk about the things I wasn’t proud of.

First, I need to learn to respond more calmly to my parents, and in general to other people, without taking everything so personally.

Second, I compared myself to others too often. I need to be more myself.

Another thing I need to improve is stopping myself from overthinking situations that never actually happened. Sometimes I get lost in my head, creating mental movies about things that never occurred, but still generate anger and frustration. I need to live in the present moment, without imagining things.

The last point — and maybe the most important one — is learning how to channel my energy into the right things. It’s great to have a solid routine, to train, eat well, and be disciplined. But I need to use my energy on what matters most: pursuing my goals and my purpose.

A good morning routine and less scrolling alone won’t get me there. I need resilience and consistency in doing what I love. I need to channel my energy in the right direction.

I can’t be afraid of failing and then hide behind books and journaling to avoid action. My morning routine is part of me and helps me build discipline, but I also need the courage and determination to pursue what I believe is my path. I need to bring the same discipline I apply to myself into my work and long-term goals.

I want to be an athlete, a filmmaker, and a traveler? Then I need to understand that achieving these things requires effort and consistency. I need to make the decision to focus on them. Whether I fail or not, I must give everything I have until I get what I want.

That said, I’m still happy and grateful for myself. Every day I feel like a better person. And even though there are things I still need to work on, I’ve decided to step into the game. And that alone makes me very proud of myself.

Well done, Matteo.

I wish you a good Sunday, dear readers.
See you tomorrow.