matteoraschini

–Learning to stop comparing and stay on my own timeline.–

Good morning, readers, or rather, by now, good evening.

Today I woke up with a bit of a sore throat, and the day started at four in the morning. Am I tired? Certainly, but like every day I’m trying to be the best version of myself.

I know I need to make decisions. I always complain about my exhausting job and about the fact that it takes up a lot of my time, but on the other hand I’m grateful to have a salary and a home. I complain a lot, even though there is much worse to complain about in the world.

But things need to change. I need air, to be a bit independent, and to change environment and people. I feel a bit out of place, as if I’m not understood. Maybe it’s also because I’m tired after this day, and now I’m letting my thoughts breathe, but the fact that I can’t find my reason for living, my ikigai to pursue, makes me feel frustrated.

Despite this, I don’t want to stay here obsessing over the past or over my thoughts, but I want to live the moment of NOW.

So let’s look at today in a positive way. I started work earlier to help a colleague, followed my morning ritual of a glass of water, did journaling, and controlled my daily caffeine impulse by drinking only one coffee.

Am I happy? Yes. I know I could be happier, but I don’t care. I want to reward myself for these small actions that are shaping me. Since I started this challenge, I’ve reduced the time spent on my phone by six times compared to before, and the time spent scrolling by ten times. I am grateful for this.

Sometimes we always want more, more, and more. We never stop to focus on the progress we make. We never say thank you or offer a few words of comfort to the person we’re becoming, and this is wrong.

Life is now. I need to be proud of who I am and where I am. I need to stop thinking with that unhealthy mind that always tends to compare itself with others.

I always tend, in everything, to find a point of comparison with those who are more successful than me, with those who are always happy and who have their ikigai, or with those who have made it in their life.

But objectively, behind compared to whom? We are not all the same. There are those who build their entrepreneurial work at 20, those at 30, and those who, like many painters and writers, are understood and praised only in the last years of their lives.

We are not all the same. We must not force ourselves to find our path immediately, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be the same path as the person we praise for their success. I am me. They are them. STOP COMPARING.

Since I scroll less on social media, this has eased. By not scrolling, I have no reason to envy someone or to feel anxious because people are more successful than me. Instead, I try to scroll in an intelligent way, looking for sources of inspiration for what my ikigai will be.

I don’t want to force things. I don’t want to feel behind compared to anyone, but I want to feel MYSELF. To wait, to search, to try to be the best version of myself. The person who is disciplined, who loves training, who loves traveling alone, and who loves photography. This is me.

And you might ask: how can you define yourself like this if you say you still haven’t found your ikigai? Yes, I can define the areas I love, but I still don’t know how to express myself, how to give life to my art.

I still feel like a butterfly inside its cocoon, waiting to come out. This is how I feel now. I don’t want to force the exit, I don’t want to rush things. I just want to be able to do better every day that passes until I can express my art, my true nature.

I know I would have liked to talk more about what ikigai is, but unfortunately it’s late and it’s time to say goodbye, but that doesn’t mean I won’t talk about it. However, I’m leaving you my list of goals for 2026!?

I may have been quite ambitious, certainly, but I don’t care. I will do everything I can to achieve them one by one. It’s a promise. To the me of now and to the me as a child.

See you tomorrow, dear readers.

-Cloudy skies, warm water, and a lesson from Seneca.-

Good morning, dear readers.

Today the sky is cloudy and it’s very cold, but that won’t stop my morning run.
I also started a new ritual: drinking a glass of warm water right after waking up. I’ve read about its benefits and thought, why not try it.

Yesterday I came across a letter by Seneca titled Recognizing Our Addictions.
There was one question that really stayed with me:

“We believe we are in control — but are we really?
Addiction begins when we lose the freedom to abstain.
Regain the ability to abstain, because that’s where clarity and self-control live.”

After thinking about it, I decided to take control of one of my strongest dependencies: coffee.

I won’t drink coffee as soon as I wake up anymore.
I’ll have one before training, and whenever I feel the urge for another, I’ll try to notice that impulse and resist it.

I’m genuinely happy I started this 75-day challenge.
In just two days, turning off my phone one hour before bed has already improved my sleep — no night awakenings and less fatigue in the morning.

I’ve also significantly reduced compulsive scrolling and overall screen time.
I’m reading a lot. I enjoy it, but at the same time, it feels strange.

By limiting social media, I suddenly have a lot of free time.
And without a clear purpose yet — without an ikigai, something to chase obsessively until I enter a flow state — I’m forced to fill my time differently: reading and training as much as I can.

Sometimes I feel a sense of emptiness for not having found my ikigai yet.
Other times I feel “behind” compared to people I admire and follow.

If there’s one thing I need to stop doing, it’s comparing myself to others.
My path is not theirs.
I am me.
They are them.

I’m officially on the journey toward discovering my ikigai.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll explain it tomorrow.

PS: yesterday I planned to write my 2026 goals and share them today, but I didn’t.
This afternoon, with a cup of herbal tea, I’ll take my time and write them down.

See you tomorrow.
03/75

-A cold morning, a quiet mind, and the first real fight against resistance.-

Good morning, dear readers.

Today is a beautiful day. It’s cold, but the sun is out.
I don’t know exactly why, but starting the day early with a good book and a cold run makes me happy.

I’ve already learned an important lesson from this challenge: turning off my phone one hour before bed and spending that time reading or doing offline activities has dramatically improved my sleep. I slept seven hours straight and woke up calm and relaxed.

Today I also had my first real encounter with Resistance.
Resistance is the force that tries to pull you back into your comfort zone the moment you try to leave it. It will fight your decisions, and you have to be strong enough to push through.

This morning it wanted me to stay in bed, warm, scrolling on social media. For Resistance, that’s my safe place.
Today, I won.

I didn’t accept its conditions. I got up, meditated, wrote, and went out to train in the cold.

I’m tired of surrendering to Resistance. I want to fight it every day. I want to take my life back and make it mine. I don’t want to depend on anyone anymore — only on myself.

I still haven’t found my path, that one thing to chase obsessively. But I know I’m looking for it in the right way: by challenging myself and giving 100%, even in the smallest things.

I have many ideas in my head. They’re messy, but they’re there.
Today I’ll work on my goals for 2026. Tomorrow I’ll share them with you.

Have a good day, dear readers.
And remember to stand up to Resistance in the search for yourself and your purpose.

See you tomorrow.

-Find my purpose and build discipline.-

Welcome back, dear readers.

I spent the last five days in London.
Now it’s time to return to the present.

I’ve decided to start a challenge that will help me build discipline and, more importantly, understand what my path really is.
For a long time now, I’ve been spending my days procrastinating, endlessly scrolling, and complaining about my life — when in reality, everything comes down to one word: purpose.

Not having a purpose means not having a real reason to move forward.
It means staying stuck, constantly complaining, and slowly realizing how much time you’re wasting living a life that doesn’t truly represent you.

It’s the gap between who you are and who you want to become.
And that’s exactly how I feel: constantly afraid of being late, afraid of making decisions, trapped in a life that doesn’t fulfill me.

I’m tired of scrolling through social media, dreaming about a better life without doing anything to change it.

So, dear readers, I’ve decided to bring you with me on my 75 Days Challenge.
A challenge against myself, in search of my purpose and the construction of new, healthy habits.

I’ve set 10 daily rules for myself:

• wake up at 6 a.m. (no later)
• read at least 10 pages of a book
• 5 minutes of breathing and meditation
• one workout per day
• no phone for the first 30 minutes after waking up
• turn off my phone one hour before going to bed
• daily journaling
• publish one post on this blog every day
• no compulsive social media scrolling
• no junk food

Does it sound extreme?
I don’t think so.

I want to find myself again, build discipline, and understand who I want to be and what I want to do in life.
I want to say no to a life — and a job — that don’t reflect who I am and what I stand for.

And this is how I begin Day 1 of this challenge.
I’ll take you with me on this journey.

Have a good day.

-A public diary documenting doubt, change, and the courage to start from zero.-

Happy New Year, dear readers.

Welcome to my diary.
This will be my space — a place where I will document, starting from zero, the journey toward my goals for this year.

I decided to start this diary to talk to you, to keep you updated on what I want to achieve and who I am trying to become.
2025 has tested me deeply. There have been many changes, intense crises, and moments where I felt completely lost.

I tried everything to change myself, to understand what my path really was.
It’s not easy to say — and honestly, I’m still looking for it.
I have many ideas, many projects, but they often feel confused.

And so I ask myself the most important questions:

Who do I want to be this year?
What do I truly want to achieve?
And why?

If you’re still here, there’s something you should know:
in this space, I will write every doubt, fear, and worry — without filters.

I want to take you with me.
I want you to be part of my process.

I decided to challenge myself, to face and fight behaviors I’ve been carrying with me for years.
This year, I truly want to step into the game.

I know it will be hard.
There will be moments when I won’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.
But I also know that I am strong.

And that’s why I chose to open this logbook and share the journey with you.

Welcome, dear readers.