–Learning to stop comparing and stay on my own timeline.–

Good morning, readers, or rather, by now, good evening.

Today I woke up with a bit of a sore throat, and the day started at four in the morning. Am I tired? Certainly, but like every day I’m trying to be the best version of myself.

I know I need to make decisions. I always complain about my exhausting job and about the fact that it takes up a lot of my time, but on the other hand I’m grateful to have a salary and a home. I complain a lot, even though there is much worse to complain about in the world.

But things need to change. I need air, to be a bit independent, and to change environment and people. I feel a bit out of place, as if I’m not understood. Maybe it’s also because I’m tired after this day, and now I’m letting my thoughts breathe, but the fact that I can’t find my reason for living, my ikigai to pursue, makes me feel frustrated.

Despite this, I don’t want to stay here obsessing over the past or over my thoughts, but I want to live the moment of NOW.

So let’s look at today in a positive way. I started work earlier to help a colleague, followed my morning ritual of a glass of water, did journaling, and controlled my daily caffeine impulse by drinking only one coffee.

Am I happy? Yes. I know I could be happier, but I don’t care. I want to reward myself for these small actions that are shaping me. Since I started this challenge, I’ve reduced the time spent on my phone by six times compared to before, and the time spent scrolling by ten times. I am grateful for this.

Sometimes we always want more, more, and more. We never stop to focus on the progress we make. We never say thank you or offer a few words of comfort to the person we’re becoming, and this is wrong.

Life is now. I need to be proud of who I am and where I am. I need to stop thinking with that unhealthy mind that always tends to compare itself with others.

I always tend, in everything, to find a point of comparison with those who are more successful than me, with those who are always happy and who have their ikigai, or with those who have made it in their life.

But objectively, behind compared to whom? We are not all the same. There are those who build their entrepreneurial work at 20, those at 30, and those who, like many painters and writers, are understood and praised only in the last years of their lives.

We are not all the same. We must not force ourselves to find our path immediately, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be the same path as the person we praise for their success. I am me. They are them. STOP COMPARING.

Since I scroll less on social media, this has eased. By not scrolling, I have no reason to envy someone or to feel anxious because people are more successful than me. Instead, I try to scroll in an intelligent way, looking for sources of inspiration for what my ikigai will be.

I don’t want to force things. I don’t want to feel behind compared to anyone, but I want to feel MYSELF. To wait, to search, to try to be the best version of myself. The person who is disciplined, who loves training, who loves traveling alone, and who loves photography. This is me.

And you might ask: how can you define yourself like this if you say you still haven’t found your ikigai? Yes, I can define the areas I love, but I still don’t know how to express myself, how to give life to my art.

I still feel like a butterfly inside its cocoon, waiting to come out. This is how I feel now. I don’t want to force the exit, I don’t want to rush things. I just want to be able to do better every day that passes until I can express my art, my true nature.

I know I would have liked to talk more about what ikigai is, but unfortunately it’s late and it’s time to say goodbye, but that doesn’t mean I won’t talk about it. However, I’m leaving you my list of goals for 2026!?

I may have been quite ambitious, certainly, but I don’t care. I will do everything I can to achieve them one by one. It’s a promise. To the me of now and to the me as a child.

See you tomorrow, dear readers.