matteoraschini

-No big steps, no pressure. Just presence, gratitude, and real human connection.-

Good evening, dear readers.
Today the sky was cloudy, but I was happy.

I started the day at 6 a.m. with a sleep score of 95 — what can I say, great sleep. This morning I meditated for 5 minutes. Not much, but I’m keeping the continuity. Consistency — that’s the word that fits best.

Today I ran 10 km and felt amazing. I love running, breathing fresh air, and today I went out without my phone. It was just me, my feelings, my emotions, and my legs running nonstop, kilometer after kilometer. I’m happy I had a good workout.

Today and tomorrow I won’t do any quality sessions because on Saturday I have a mountain race! I’m grateful because I’ll be running with my parents. It will be one of those moments where we reconnect, doing what unites us the most: running.

I’m happy today — really happy. Even though today I didn’t work on anything directly useful for my goals, it was a beautiful day. Running without my phone, drinking a cup of red tea… but that’s only part of what I did today.

I’m getting into the habit of buying bread at the bakery, trying to reduce packaged bread. But for me it’s not just about health — it’s becoming a mantra. The thought of going out to buy bread makes me feel good. I want to prioritize local vendors and use fewer packaged products.

Going to these local places makes me feel good. I want to interact with people. When I go to the supermarket, I just buy and leave. But when I go to the bakery or the fish shop, the idea of having a conversation, observing the counter, choosing and trying new foods makes me happy.

Today I had many thoughts in my head, blaming myself for not being productive. But tonight, looking back at what happened, I realized that happiness isn’t only about working hard toward something. It can also be about having a day full of positive and rewarding experiences.

After two years, I saw a dear friend again. We had lost touch for a long time, and even though I didn’t really expect to see him again, today it happened. I felt really good in his company. For the first time in years, I had a deep and interesting conversation.

Listening to what he’s doing and what he’s been through, exchanging life views, and being able to count on someone who doesn’t only talk about themselves, but truly listens — that made me very happy.

I saw a big change in him. I felt a different energy compared to how I knew him two years ago. I’m not someone who easily opens up or talks about feelings, but today I felt comfortable — both talking and listening. I felt good vibes.

We spent three hours together and time flew. I was so focused on the conversation that I didn’t even realize it was already 2:30 p.m. I’m really proud of the path he’s on — he’s achieving many of his dreams and doing well.

He gave me a push to put the right energy into what I want to attract in my life, to stop caring about judgment, and to have the resilience and strength to pursue my goals fully. I really needed a conversation like this. I feel lighter, less stressed. Feeling understood is not easy for me, and today I felt it.

I tend to hide who I am, to keep everything inside, because I rarely feel understood. I usually try to solve everything on my own. But today — and yes, I know I’m repetitive, but this is my diary — I want to say it again: I’m happy.

I’m grateful for this dose of friendship and for spending such a beautiful morning together. I hope to see him again soon, or at least rebuild our connection.

Later today, I also received a call from someone I consider my brother, not by blood. We hadn’t spoken on the phone in a while, and it meant a lot to hear his voice again. Even though we’re 10,280 km apart, we’re always in sync.

We see each other once a year, and we don’t talk all the time, but I carry him in my heart. He’s been there during my darkest moments, always supporting me. I care deeply about both J. and E. — you know you can always count on me.

I want to reflect on something. For a long time, I neglected my friendships. Not because I wanted to be cold, but because I felt I had nothing to share and nothing in common anymore. So I stepped back, choosing myself over relationships that didn’t give me anything.

Today I realized how important it is to cultivate relationships — but not just any relationships. I mean the kind where you can be yourself, without fear of judgment, where you feel understood.

The friends I truly care about can be counted on one hand, and that’s okay. I want to protect these bonds. Not just because we grew up together, but because now I understand how powerful it is to talk to someone who really listens.

Today I’m grateful for these two beautiful conversations. I may not have had a “productive” day in terms of chasing goals, but today this was enough.

We can want and attract many things in life — money, travel, love — but nothing is more beautiful than attracting joy and happiness. When you realize that happiness is what truly matters, everything else becomes secondary.

You can have all the money in the world, but what kind of life is it if you can’t be happy or cultivate meaningful friendships?

Be happy. Be joyful. Attract joy. And most importantly, allow yourself to feel it.

Tonight, with a cup of tea — my cup of tea — I’ll take some time for myself, away from screens, with a good book and my physical journal.

Good evening, dear readers.
Take care of your relationships. Don’t neglect them.

-Some days feel heavy. And that’s part of the work.-

Good evening, dear readers. How are you?

Today I feel worn out.
It was my second early shift at work, and waking up so early is starting to take its toll. I feel very low on energy, and tonight — whether from real hunger caused by all the training, or from fatigue and stress — I felt a strong urge to eat. I could have eaten anything on the table.

But I controlled my hunger. I redirected my thoughts and reminded myself that I am strong and that I control my mind. So I told myself: Matteo, eat what you’re supposed to eat, nourish your body, and if you’re still hungry, try not to obsess over it.

Now that I’m writing this, the hunger has calmed down. I feel about 80% full.

This made me think about one of the principles of longevity in Japan, called Hara Hachi Bu. What I’m about to mention is based on tradition and research. Okinawa is considered one of the five Blue Zones — areas of the world where people live the longest. One of their main habits is eating large amounts of vegetables and plant-based foods, and most importantly, eating until you feel about 80% full, not completely stuffed.

It’s a mindful approach to food, one that helps avoid overloading the digestive system. It’s a cultural rule that promotes balance and moderation — and it can be applied to other areas of life as well.

Another very important factor is eating mindfully. Sometimes I manage to do it. I try not to use electronic devices while eating, focusing only on the food in front of me. Ideally, we should also eat slowly, savoring every bite to help digestion — something I still struggle with. When hunger hits, I tend to eat fast without thinking. I want to improve this. I want to learn to eat more slowly, not just for digestion or satiety, but because eating slowly helps build awareness.

After this reflection on food, I want to talk about how I feel today.

I’m truly tired. Not because work itself was intense, but because my sleep schedule is irregular. Some days I sleep 8 hours and wake up fresh and motivated. Other days I sleep 5 or 6 hours and reach the end of the day feeling like jelly.

This morning my alarm went off at 4 a.m. I know I could easily wake up at 5:15, but I don’t give up. My morning routine is too important to me — meditation, reading, journaling. It’s part of who I am now. Starting my day like this, with a ceramic mug filled with warm water, has become my mantra.

This is who I am: someone who gets obsessively attached to the things he cares about. I care so deeply about that mug that I’ve almost become obsessed with it. I see more than just a piece of ceramic. When I hold it in my hands, my mind travels to some place in Japan. I feel gratitude. I imagine myself in a ryokan, drinking a cup of hot tea. I’m grateful for having bought that mug.

After work today, I completed a very intense gym session and really challenged myself. I’m trying to increase the time I can hold a plank. I’m now at 1 minute and 45 seconds, starting from 1 minute just two weeks ago. I want to see how far I can push my body — but above all, my mind.

More than physical fatigue — which is obviously there — the real challenge is mental. There’s a moment when seconds stop flowing normally. Time slows down. And right when you’re about to give up, you start fighting your inner self.

So I decided to challenge myself, to compete with myself, to understand my limits. I want to go beyond them. I want to dominate my mind — not just as a challenge, but as training for control. I want to improve my mastery over my thoughts.

This is day three of trying to follow the advice from The Law of Attraction, but for the past two days I haven’t practiced visualization. I know I need to restart, but I need my place — my bench in the park. I want to sit there after my run, with no thoughts, and start creating in my mind, visualizing what I want to achieve.

Tomorrow I’ll start again. I promise. I want to test these universal laws described in the book.

Another day where I spoke badly about someone I don’t like. Another day where I didn’t fully control my thoughts. Another day where I visualized negative things I don’t want to attract — yet just by thinking about them, I attract them.

I need to learn to think positively and truly believe in it. It’s not enough to visualize what we want if, deep down, we believe we’re not capable of achieving it — because then the law cancels itself out.

Positive thoughts.
Positive thoughts.
Visualize.
Visualize.
Create.
Create.

I need to build the habit of thinking positively, not thinking about others, being kind to everyone. A healthy mind. Healthy thoughts. Healthy thoughts lead to what I want. What I want leads to joy, gratitude, and freedom.

Plan.
Learn.
Fail.
Execute.

I wish you a good evening, dear readers.
See you tomorrow.

-The world was asleep. I was already listening to myself.-

Good evening, dear readers.

I’m writing my Day 14 a bit later than usual, but that’s okay — this is my diary, and it doesn’t have a schedule.

Today was a very intense day. Today was one of those days when my alarm goes off at 4 a.m. If you’ve been following along, you already know what that means: early shift at work.

Waking up early is becoming something I love and something essential for me. Even when I have to go to work early, I still need my routine. I spent the first hour between meditation, reading, and journaling. I love the feeling of being awake while the rest of the world is still sleeping. There’s something beautiful about being the only one awake — no noise, no lights, no people, just deep silence.

Meditating early in the morning, without thinking about anything and without even hearing the buzz of a fly, brings me peace. I’m trying to practice meditation not to calm myself down or for any specific purpose, but simply to become aware of my body and of who I am. For the past two days, meditating right after waking up has also helped me remember my dreams.

Today wasn’t one of those days. I remembered something, but it was all fragmented, and I didn’t get the chance to fully write it down.

As every day, I dominated my caffeine dependency by allowing myself only one coffee, right before training at the gym. I’m very proud of this. Recognizing and being able to control a dependency I’ve carried with me my whole life shows me how strong I am and how much I’m capable of.

I’m trying to apply the advice from the book The Law of Attraction, but I admit I’m struggling. I know we’re supposed to think about what we want to attract into our lives, to keep positive thoughts, and to be aware of what we say — because even the things we don’t want, we end up attracting if we focus on them.

One thing I really want to improve is thinking positively and directing my energy only toward what I want to attract, allowing myself to feel emotions only when my thoughts are positive. But I’ll be honest: it’s not easy at all. I have many negative thoughts during the day, especially at work, and especially when I’m alone and start questioning the direction of my life.

And this is where the second piece of advice comes in: at the beginning, negative thoughts are normal. They’ll always be there. What matters is becoming aware of them and trying to replace them, guiding them toward what we want to attract. It’s up to me to direct my thoughts. I’m not fully there yet, but I want to get there.

I don’t want to waste my energy on values or situations I don’t want in my life. I want to feel joy when I give attention to my thoughts. I will get there. I am strong.

Today at work wasn’t easy. Every time I step into that place, even though I try to see the positive side of everything, I ask myself why I’m still there. When I think about my job, and when I’m actually there, I feel negative emotions. The same happens with colleagues — gossiping, judging others — these are things I’m trying to avoid. Not only because I want to express kindness and goodness toward everyone, but because they create inner discomfort.

I’m trying to become the best version of myself. I can’t lose myself in these things. I want to be a good person toward everyone, without judgment and without speaking badly about others. And it’s not easy. When you’ve been used to certain behaviors for years, trying to step out of them means falling back sometimes. It takes a lot of energy to get out of this bubble, but I know I can do it.

Me, Matteo, must direct my energy toward positive things.

This afternoon I had a great running session, and I enjoyed every single moment of sweat and fatigue. This feeling is becoming addictive. Even though I run the same route every day, I love running — but I love running consciously. I love being present in what I’m doing, even smiling while I’m struggling.

Training makes me happy, and I want to congratulate myself for completing two good training sessions today.

I want to end this evening by expressing gratitude to God — for waking me up again today, for the privilege of being alive and healthy. Thank you. Thank you for my health, thank you for my family, and for the ability to eat every day.

Now I want to enjoy this evening with a good book, to dream beautiful things, and hopefully remember them tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow another workday awaits me. I’ll try to see the good in everything, not judge others, live in the present moment, and enjoy my existence and my day by expressing gratitude even for the small things.

Have a good evening, dear readers.
From Matteo and his cup of green tea.
See you tomorrow.

-Today I chose to believe in what I feel.-

Good evening, dear readers.

Today was a beautiful day, and it still is.
This morning, after my run, I sat on a bench in the park — a place I’ve now chosen as my reflection spot.

Starting today, I decided to experiment with a practice I read about in the book The Law of Attraction. Every day, I’ll dedicate 15 minutes in a quiet place, with some gentle music in the background, and I’ll close my eyes. I’ll take time to reflect on myself, but the main goal is to give space to what the book calls the creative laboratory. That inner place where we connect with our true self and our personality.

During this time, I focus on visualizing and attracting everything I want in my life. I give my mind complete freedom to imagine and ask. The rest, I leave to my inner self.

Of course, this practice also requires commitment in the present moment. You can attract what you want if your thoughts are directed there — I truly believe that — but it also requires effort, dedication, and working on your own path. And still, I believe in it. I believe in the possibility of attracting what I want.

The most interesting thing that happened during this practice was noticing how my emotions spoke for me. When I visualized things I truly want to attract, I smiled naturally. When I tried to imagine things I don’t want in my life, I was immediately filled with sadness and melancholy.

So for 15 minutes, I focused only on what I want to attract — physically, emotionally, emotionally connected to others, and also professionally and athletically. When the practice ended and I opened my eyes, it felt beautiful. I felt a sense of lightness coming from inside me. I took a few deep breaths and started walking home.

The most beautiful moment was stopping to enjoy the sun. A ray of sunlight was passing between two trees, and I stood there smiling, letting it warm my face.

Throughout the day, I moved through my routine with calm and a smile. I ran mindfully. I truly enjoyed my run this morning. My only focus was listening to my body, regulating my breath, and being aware of my body in motion.

I’m loving running more and more. I’m developing a real obsession with this sport. It’s giving me so much, and I’m finally allowing myself to receive it fully.

After training, I decided to change my look, almost as if I wanted to remove a mask, a costume. I shaved my mustache, which I hadn’t touched since December 31st. It felt like an important step. The strangest part was when I picked up the scissors and started cutting my hair. I had never done anything like that before, but today I felt the need to let go of a small version of myself.

That simple act made the day feel even more meaningful, even though I didn’t do anything particularly demanding. I’m grateful for how I spent this day.

There’s only one thing I need to be honest with myself about. I spent some money on clothes. I know I could have avoided it, and sometimes I really need to stop buying clothing so impulsively. I know I have consumerist tendencies.

I truly want to become a less materialistic person and learn to use what I already have. I’m writing it here, clearly: starting from my next paycheck on January 27th, I will be responsible with my money. I’ll use it only to nourish myself and for things that are truly useful, not driven by consumerism.

I believe in this. I know I can do it. From now on, before buying anything, I’ll think about it for 24 hours. If I truly need it, I’ll buy it. Otherwise, I’ll be grateful to myself for not acting impulsively.

Matteo, I believe in you.

I want to end this day by saying that tonight, once again, I was able to remember part of my dream. Just fragments this time, scattered pieces. But I decided I’ll write down everything I remember, even if it’s only small fragments. I want to train myself to remember and hold onto what happens in my mind, to give space to my subconscious. I want to access that inner strength.

Have a good evening, dear readers.
See you tomorrow.

-A week ends. I take notes.-

Good afternoon, dear readers.

Today started in the best possible way. The sky was cloudy, but I tried to make the day active anyway. As usual, I woke up at 6 and followed my morning routine. I spent some time studying the book Flow. Today there was no training or running — recovery day.

I’m not someone who usually takes recovery or rest days, because of my hyperactivity and the constant need to always be doing something, without ever stopping. But today I decided it was time. I went to the gym and didn’t train. I just loosened up my legs, did some stretching and mobility work, and nothing more.

Even though I felt like training, I did what was right: I gave myself time to rest and made recovery a priority. I want to perform at my best without getting injured.

I want to confess something. Over the past few months, I’ve never taken a real rest day. Not because I didn’t need it, but because I’ve always had a constant fear of gaining weight and I was constantly overwhelmed by guilt. I often compare myself to others, especially on social media, seeing people train every single day. And to not feel less than them, I end up trying to imitate that behavior.

Since I’ve reduced scrolling and my use of social media, this tendency has faded a bit. But today I still went to the gym, even if it was just to recover. That’s because I still haven’t fully overcome my physical insecurities. I struggle to accept myself as I am and I keep raising the bar, normalizing bodies that are often not real but catch my eye on social media.

I need to learn to accept who I am and appreciate myself for who I am now, not for the result I hope to reach someday. I can’t live in the future, constantly thinking about how I’ll look when I reach my “dream body.” I need to be grateful for who I am now and for what I’m building.

This year, I want to accept myself in every physical form I’ll be in, and most of all, I don’t want to feel guilty if I skip a workout or take a rest day during the week. I truly want to commit to this.

Today is Sunday, and I’ve decided that every weekend I’ll look at the data and reflect honestly on my week — to congratulate myself and also to question what I can improve. I want to start by saying that I’m very grateful for how this week went.

Let’s look at the positives.

Sleep: I averaged 8 hours per night, with an average sleep score of 90 measured by my Garmin. I also consistently respected my 6 a.m. alarm without struggling to get up.

Meditation: I completed a total of 50 minutes. I’ve noticed that I much prefer meditating right after waking up rather than during the day.

Reading: I finished two books and I’m currently reading two more. I’m really proud of this.

Caffeine: I significantly reduced it, drinking only 7 coffees during the week, mainly before training, giving caffeine a clear purpose.

Physically, this morning I weighed 82.25 kg. Compared to last Sunday, I lost 1.4 kg. I prioritized real food and didn’t experience any binge episodes. Yesterday, after running, I also ate a small bowl of homemade granola without thinking about calories or weighing anything. I ate mindfully, without overeating and without guilt.

Training-wise, I completed 12 hours of training, including 80 km of running. And something I’m really proud of: I tried to enjoy the process and stay as present as possible during my sessions — spoiler: I succeeded.

After years, something strange happened. For the second time, I woke up and during meditation I clearly remembered some frames from my dream. That makes two dreams remembered in a row. I honestly don’t remember the last time this happened, and it makes me really happy, especially because I was able to recall them clearly and in detail.

Now, let’s talk about the things I wasn’t proud of.

First, I need to learn to respond more calmly to my parents, and in general to other people, without taking everything so personally.

Second, I compared myself to others too often. I need to be more myself.

Another thing I need to improve is stopping myself from overthinking situations that never actually happened. Sometimes I get lost in my head, creating mental movies about things that never occurred, but still generate anger and frustration. I need to live in the present moment, without imagining things.

The last point — and maybe the most important one — is learning how to channel my energy into the right things. It’s great to have a solid routine, to train, eat well, and be disciplined. But I need to use my energy on what matters most: pursuing my goals and my purpose.

A good morning routine and less scrolling alone won’t get me there. I need resilience and consistency in doing what I love. I need to channel my energy in the right direction.

I can’t be afraid of failing and then hide behind books and journaling to avoid action. My morning routine is part of me and helps me build discipline, but I also need the courage and determination to pursue what I believe is my path. I need to bring the same discipline I apply to myself into my work and long-term goals.

I want to be an athlete, a filmmaker, and a traveler? Then I need to understand that achieving these things requires effort and consistency. I need to make the decision to focus on them. Whether I fail or not, I must give everything I have until I get what I want.

That said, I’m still happy and grateful for myself. Every day I feel like a better person. And even though there are things I still need to work on, I’ve decided to step into the game. And that alone makes me very proud of myself.

Well done, Matteo.

I wish you a good Sunday, dear readers.
See you tomorrow.