-Why running away won’t solve it.-

Good evening, dear readers.

Today has been a very heavy day. Trying to balance my morning routine with my job, waking up at 4:30 a.m., is a real challenge. I’m here tonight because I want to share a few reflections with you.

This morning, during my reading, I came across a letter by Epictetus. I’ll quote it here:

“Calmness and stability are the result of your choices and judgments, not the environment you live in. Your problems will follow you wherever you run to hide. If instead you try to avoid the harmful and paralyzing judgments that cause those problems, you will be stable and calm wherever you are.”

This quote stayed with me all day. I see myself deeply in these words. Many times I think about how much I want to escape from the bubble I live in, but I’ve realized that my anxieties and worries will follow me wherever I go if I don’t face them right here, where I am now.

Of course, I love traveling, discovering, and seeing new places, but there are inner conflicts I need to overcome if I want to feel good with myself.

Today, during my usual daily 10 km run — rain or snow, I run — my thoughts were all about comparison. The people I see on social media, their perfect bodies, how fast they run, how much I wish I were like them. After half an hour of constantly belittling myself, I reached a conclusion: I need to follow my own path. They are one thing. I am Matteo. I am ME.

How can we compare ourselves to people who are completely different from us? Thinking human beings, all unique. There are no copies. We are one of a kind. We are RARE.

The only competition that matters is with ourselves — trying to be better every day, measuring progress not against others, but against who we were yesterday.

We need to live in the present, not compete with people we follow on social media. We can take inspiration, aspire to something similar, but we can’t compare ourselves to someone who isn’t us.

If I’m writing this, it’s because this happens to me often. I’m trying to do it less — to focus on myself, track my progress, and be proud of who I am and how far I’ve come.

I know I haven’t found my reason for living yet, my Ikigai, but I’m not worried about it. I need to live the Matteo of NOW, not the Matteo of yesterday or tomorrow. The only thing we truly have power over is NOW.

If we stay stuck in the past or obsessed with the future, we live poorly. We stop enjoying the present.

I know I will find my Ikigai. I don’t need to rush. I’ll be honest though — I’m obsessed with finding my path, not because I’m in a hurry, but because sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my time. That feeling often pulls me into compulsive scrolling and time lost on my phone.

Since I started this challenge, things are changing. When I feel low and want to scroll, I don’t give in. I pick up a book and read.

In the last five days, I’ve spent less than thirty minutes on social media. This is easing that feeling of being “behind” compared to people who live a life I think I want.

I’m focusing on myself. On improving every day.

Today I defeated my caffeine addiction: zero coffee. I didn’t even feel the need for it.

I’m grateful for these small wins. The journey has just begun, but I believe in myself. I know who I am, and I know that when I decide something, I pursue it until I reach it. I’m obsessed with personal growth.

So tonight I want to congratulate myself — for the good habits I practiced and for the bad ones I’m letting go of. A round of applause for myself. Keep going. You’re on the right path.

I may not have found my path yet, but I’m moving forward. I’ll find the answers within myself. I truly believe that even when we feel lost, the answers we’re looking for already live inside us. We just need to learn to listen.

To conclude this evening, I want to share my happiness about one thing: tomorrow I start my training program for my goal of running a three-hour marathon. I’m excited to begin this journey.

Dear readers,
See you tomorrow.